Afraid to be spanked?

I’ve been of a mind to think about spanking quite a bit recently. Surely this has to be the “square one” of most BDSM relationships, whether they be long or short term? For many of us it was one of the first acts of either dominance or submission that we endured. It’s so basic, almost primal to the chosen path ahead. It sets a tone, lays down an understanding. Control is passed; control is taken.

For me it’s now a distant memory. I haven’t actually been spanked for a very long time. And for all i might write, i probably wouldn’t let just anybody spank me. Partly because i’m now very choosy about who i play with (possibly too choosy) and partly because i’m slightly afraid of my own reaction to it. Once or twice i’ve had that feeling of true submission, that yearning to give, to belong, to be chosen, owned and wanted. But not for a very long time. I fear now that if i was spanked i’d read too much into it. I worry that i’d take it as meaning far more that just a playful spanking. I have submission to give yes, but not to waste.