I was fortunate enough recently, to give bent to my fondness for playing the child, a twelve year old on this occasion to be precise, at a party hosted by some very dear friends. It had a St.Trinian’s theme and my legend was that, having been bullied at my previous school, my mother was seeing if I would fit into “the St.Trinian way” and if the school would benefit from having a boy on the register (to even think that it could not)!
And so, dressed in ankle socks, short trousers (exceedingly risqué short trousers as it happens, which, i had made myself) school shirt and tie, cap and scarf, I stood facing my new possible classmates, clutching onto my dear friend and teddy bear, Freud.
It was a wonderful evening of such naughty goings on, looking up girls’ skirts and allowing curious young ladies to look at my willy. A thoroughly juvenile experience during which i made no attempt at pretence at adulthood. It wasn’t regression, I don’t really think it was age play, i just allowed myself to give in to the very real temptation to be completely irresponsible and naughty. I kinda like it that way now and again.
And then last week i found a lump. CRASH! And then another one yesterday. Suddenly, my hitherto unchallenged immortality is gone. I’m no longer indestructible. I’m fragile. I have flaws. I have to think about the real possibility of facing up to adult issues, of life and death and sensible decisions. Oh sure I make those all the time, but on my terms, when i want to and at the places that I choose. I spent several years of my life talking to pilots in an effort to get them to avoid each other and the ground (astonishingly successfully as it happens) and acquiring all sorts of bizarre ratings on the way. I devoted a whole year of my life to protecting the good people of Daventry – and I’ve never even been there. (I just hope it was worth it. I understand it’s now just become some sort of rail cargo terminal, so I was probably wasting my time). By I digress. Where was I?
Immortality. Apparently, I might not have it. (Note to self: Letter of clarification to Rome, post haste). Thankfully however, these ‘lumps’ will almost certainly turn out to be something very innocent. The inconvenience which one is currently causing is minor and the small amount of pain from the other is just its way of getting noticed. I have an attention-seeking lump! Bloody typical. Oh i know lots of people get scary lumps, but this is my first. Bear with me, or, if you’d rather, bare with me! It’s my experience. My first ‘lump’. My first acknowledgement of deterioration. My first sign of decay. I don’t wear glasses – yet! I don’t need a hearing aid – yet! I’m not incontinent – yet! I’m not impotent – yet! I’m not balding – yet! I don’t need a walking frame – yet!
Bloody hell! When i put it like that, I’m actually very bloody lucky!
Still. I’d rather be back in class though, wanking on the back row in school mass again Oh didn’t i tell you that bit? Well the “priestess” was kinda hot I wonder if that’s what i’m being punished for now?