I am scared to hold my Fabergé egg

In November 2007, a Fabergé clock, the “Rothschild egg”, sold at auction at Christie’s for £8.9 million. During that auction the egg would have been held by the safe hands of one of the Christie’s auction room staff. They typically earn about £24,000. It is not particularly well paid work.

Due to one of the peculiarities of English law concerning insurance and auctions, even though the ownership of an item has not yet changed hands, from the time that the bidding opens, until the item is sold, the item is temporarily, not covered by any insurance. This dates back from a time when auctions were a little more bloody than today, with many a dispute breaking out mid-auction, often ending with the attempted snatching (and subsequent breaking) of the items in dispute.

So the guy or girl who earns very little at all, must handle items worth millions of pounds and which are uninsured, very securely.

And here is where I feel that I am in a similar boat, the only difference being, that I do not have their confidence to take a firm grip. I currently have something very precious. £8.9 million would not cover it. And before you all come round and look under my mattress, it is not there (well not under it anyway)! What I have, is a friendship, a relationship, which is so precious, that I am frightened to hold it. I am frightened of breaking it. If I hold on too tightly, will it break? If I do not hold on tight enough, will it get away from me and fall and break?

What if I let the most precious thing in the world to me, slip from my grasp? I don’t deserve to be holding it. I am not capable or trust-worthy enough to be given something so precious. I feel like the poorly paid staff member. Logically, this is way too valuable to be entrusted to someone like me. I do not deserve it, I cannot be trusted to look after it.

And so I am constantly scared that I will break it or lose it and that my world will come crashing to an end knowing that what I just lost, can never be replaced. There is no insurance on relationships. There is just me.

About severin

Nobody special and what I write might not be to everyone's taste - it tends to be a bit naughty. so you've been warned.
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9 Responses to I am scared to hold my Fabergé egg

  1. _Compersian_ says:

    I wish you could relax & enjoy what you have w/o worrying about losing it. But I can understand your predicament. It is much easier to say than do. (interesting info about auctions btw.)

  2. Woman says:

    I haven’t read your post yet… BUT!!!!

    May I post your link on my links page? And it was almost impossible to find your blog!!! I wanted to show off your emerald explorer and your arse to a friend, but your gravatar thinige is not linked to your site!!!

    Ok. I must return to showing off my new toys and showing off what toy I want next

    • severin says:

      Hey sweetie. Yes of course you can link to me and show my ass to your friends :)
      Thanks for the Gravitar info. I’ve added my blog to it, so it should be easier to find.

      sev xx

  3. What a beautiful multi-layered post sev. Finding that balance between holding too tight and not tight enough. The fear that accompanies taking either action.
    Your post brings to mind my recent undoing. I do believe I did not hold tightly enough, I was afraid to and perhaps didn’t believe it was my place to take a confident grasp, and my faberge slipped from my hand.
    If I am blessed enough to have a next time, I will try to overcome the fear of gripping tight.
    I pray that you find your harmony.
    S xx

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