A new sexuality

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to work out that I’m now over 40. I know myself quite well, having lived inside me for a significant number of decades. I know for instance that I can bite all of my toe nails if I choose. I know that I have the tiniest of tiny little bald spots on the back of head where my high-chair fell backwards and I hit my head on the hearth. I know for instance that I’ve had a ‘Z’ shaped scar on my forehead since long before it became fashionable. And yes, I’ve known for quite a while that I love the feel of my own boy-cunt when it’s all smooth and soft and inviting and it’s being offered and … oh sorry, you probably don’t want to hear that.

In short, there’s nothing much about me that can surprise … er … me.

Or so I thought.

You see dear listener, I have recently been troubled with a back injury which has prevented me from being my normal athletic self: I like to make love with vigour, with a degree of artistic impression and difficulty and then end with a perfect dismount before awaiting the score from the judges. However for the past couple of weeks, just climbing onto the bed has required careful planning, a team of Sherpas, oxygen awaiting me at the summit and a clear three hour window in the schedule. In short, I’m broken and unable to complete my normal boning* duties.

I can however lie flat on my back (once I get there). My Domme, a smart girl with a penchant for strong drink and boning** injured men who can’t run away, quickly decided that my lack of usual nubility was in no way going to prevent me from being a source of her pleasure. I still had a cock, it still worked and could therefore still be ridden.

Now yes of course, most men know that they enjoy being straddled and ridden (no, not saddled!) and indeed I myself am no stranger to the art of lying back, enjoying the view and basically letting a woman do all the hard work whilst still taking credit for being a “big bad boy”. We’ve all done it, lying there watching the bouncing and secretly wondering if she really could give herself a black eye or two (guys please tell me it’s not just me)!

However, recently, during the last few days in fact, I’ve noticed a change within the demeanour of my lovely girl, my Domme. I’ve always been her boy and wanted to be the source of her pleasure, but of late, she has started to take me at my word, literally. She completely uses my cock, for her pleasure, not mine. She needs to hurt me – and does, by slapping me, scratching me and even, a little hesitantly at first, choking me.

And guess what? I’ve found that I absolutely love it. I love being objectified as simply a source of her enjoyment. The feeling of being turned into a commodity is so hot. I am solely there to be used for pleasure. It’s like when she rapes me, it hurts, I don’t enjoy it (at least not at first), it’s for her pleasure, her amusement, her satisfaction.

And maybe that makes me a whore. After all it’s not an equal act of love-making, it’s a transaction: I provide, she takes and uses. The commodity being traded, is me, my body: my cock to impale herself on, my face to slap, my chest to scratch, my throat to choke, my hair to pull, my flesh to bite into. And I have discovered that I absolutely love being just used like that. A service stud. A cock to get hard when she demands it. Yes there will come a time when I’m better when we’ll make love, when I’ll hold her, gently, firmly, caress her, fill her at my speed, tease the wet from her that floods the sheets, but not every time.

She has discovered that when I say that I’m happy to be hers, to be used, that I actually mean it. She has discovered the dark pleasure that can be had from just taking sex, using a person to get off with, giving vent to her own dark needs, to hurt, to bite, to take.

And I’ve discovered that I long for her to use me again. I didn’t know that I would feel like that, I’ve surprised myself.

In the meantime I need to take care of my back injury, after all, these toe nails won’t cut themselves.

*I’ve just leant that word so I’m going to be using it wherever possible.
**It’s a very good word, I’m enjoying it.

About severin

Nobody special and what I write might not be to everyone's taste - it tends to be a bit naughty. so you've been warned.
This entry was posted in Adult, bdsm, sex and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

17 Responses to A new sexuality

  1. TemptingSweets99 says:

    Feel better real soon so that you can enjoy all the boning to your Domme and your heart’s delight! 🙂

  2. Sorry about your back. At least you can find some pleasure with that pain. 😉

  3. redsuze says:

    What a delightful insight in to your sub life. I have moments just like your Domme when I take what is mine and love it and other times I want to share.
    Hope your back is soon on the mend. 😉

  4. Pingback: XXX Pick, A New Sexuality | AlexSuze

  5. Suze says:

    I featured your post in my XXX Pick this week. 🙂

  6. Week Bi Week says:

    Quite a hot discovery!

    My partner and have both been out of commission for a bit. He broke his arm and I had surgery. He wants me to feel free to use him as I please, but I worry about harming him further or just taking what I want and not worrying about his wants. Your post now has me rethinking that second concern.

    • Faile says:

      Our current limitations have left both Sev and I frustrated. Finding something which we could do, without (unintentional) pain, was a huge release for both of us. His pleasure was as evident to me as mine was to him. I would not have been able to enjoy it so much if he hadn’t been loving it (and staying rock hard 😉 ) too.
      You said above of your partner, “He wants me to feel free to use him…”, doing so is being sensitive to his wants rather than the reverse. You are in the position then to make sure he enjoys it too.

      Faile xx

  7. Woman says:

    Oh darling Sev! I am so sad to hear that you are in pain!!! I would gladly take tooth or foot pain over back pain. And you’ve read my blog. You know I’ve been through the ringer when it comes to my back. I do hope you get better quicker than expected and you do take it easy when you are healed… don’t hurt yourself!!!

    As for you and Faile, I am thrilled to hear that you both found a way to enjoy this lay up. And you know me, I don’t do the whole label thing, but… there are times when I like to just use a man and take what I want from him. And then there are times when I need a man to take me and use me for his pleasure.

    And now I have to mad dash away and as a few men if they too have thought of women getting black eyes….

  8. ftfagos says:

    sorry to hear about your back


  9. Your Stalker says:

    Have you tried a tens machine, they are very good for sore muscles………

    • severin says:

      No I haven’t, but it’s a good suggestion. I’m told that I might have a slipped disc and am now awaiting an appointment for an MRI scan, the outcome of which will decide whether I get thrown face down onto the operating table and dissected with a rusty penknife. Whilst the prospect scares the hell out of me, it will at least lend itself to a possible blog post to two.
      sev x

  10. WordsFallFromMyEyes says:

    ‘Z’ shaped scar since long before it became fashionable – that’s funny 🙂
    And a boy-cunt? Man, I’ve never seen one of those – you SO do open my eyes!!

    ‘My cock to impale herself on’ – that was pretty hot.

    You really are SOMETHING ELSE to me – so open about it all. The ‘it all’ being sexuality that we normally keep quiet. Unreal. Rape is usually such a violent ripping from an individual, but you’ve found pleasure in it being done to you (by your partner). Like wow. I have had aggressive sex & it is a turn on, but if someone started choking me I reckon I’d freak a bit – but you didn’t ONE bit!!

    You & your lady are just excellent for each other, & that’s just perfect. Here’s to forever 🙂

    Happy NY to you & your Domme*.

    *my newly learned word, only I can’t think of anywhere in my world I can use it at all!!

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