It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to work out that I’m now over 40. I know myself quite well, having lived inside me for a significant number of decades. I know for instance that I can bite all of my toe nails if I choose. I know that I have the tiniest of tiny little bald spots on the back of head where my high-chair fell backwards and I hit my head on the hearth. I know for instance that I’ve had a ‘Z’ shaped scar on my forehead since long before it became fashionable. And yes, I’ve known for quite a while that I love the feel of my own boy-cunt when it’s all smooth and soft and inviting and it’s being offered and … oh sorry, you probably don’t want to hear that.
In short, there’s nothing much about me that can surprise … er … me.
Or so I thought.
You see dear listener, I have recently been troubled with a back injury which has prevented me from being my normal athletic self: I like to make love with vigour, with a degree of artistic impression and difficulty and then end with a perfect dismount before awaiting the score from the judges. However for the past couple of weeks, just climbing onto the bed has required careful planning, a team of Sherpas, oxygen awaiting me at the summit and a clear three hour window in the schedule. In short, I’m broken and unable to complete my normal boning* duties.
I can however lie flat on my back (once I get there). My Domme, a smart girl with a penchant for strong drink and boning** injured men who can’t run away, quickly decided that my lack of usual nubility was in no way going to prevent me from being a source of her pleasure. I still had a cock, it still worked and could therefore still be ridden.
Now yes of course, most men know that they enjoy being straddled and ridden (no, not saddled!) and indeed I myself am no stranger to the art of lying back, enjoying the view and basically letting a woman do all the hard work whilst still taking credit for being a “big bad boy”. We’ve all done it, lying there watching the bouncing and secretly wondering if she really could give herself a black eye or two (guys please tell me it’s not just me)!
However, recently, during the last few days in fact, I’ve noticed a change within the demeanour of my lovely girl, my Domme. I’ve always been her boy and wanted to be the source of her pleasure, but of late, she has started to take me at my word, literally. She completely uses my cock, for her pleasure, not mine. She needs to hurt me – and does, by slapping me, scratching me and even, a little hesitantly at first, choking me.
And guess what? I’ve found that I absolutely love it. I love being objectified as simply a source of her enjoyment. The feeling of being turned into a commodity is so hot. I am solely there to be used for pleasure. It’s like when she rapes me, it hurts, I don’t enjoy it (at least not at first), it’s for her pleasure, her amusement, her satisfaction.
And maybe that makes me a whore. After all it’s not an equal act of love-making, it’s a transaction: I provide, she takes and uses. The commodity being traded, is me, my body: my cock to impale herself on, my face to slap, my chest to scratch, my throat to choke, my hair to pull, my flesh to bite into. And I have discovered that I absolutely love being just used like that. A service stud. A cock to get hard when she demands it. Yes there will come a time when I’m better when we’ll make love, when I’ll hold her, gently, firmly, caress her, fill her at my speed, tease the wet from her that floods the sheets, but not every time.
She has discovered that when I say that I’m happy to be hers, to be used, that I actually mean it. She has discovered the dark pleasure that can be had from just taking sex, using a person to get off with, giving vent to her own dark needs, to hurt, to bite, to take.
And I’ve discovered that I long for her to use me again. I didn’t know that I would feel like that, I’ve surprised myself.
In the meantime I need to take care of my back injury, after all, these toe nails won’t cut themselves.
*I’ve just leant that word so I’m going to be using it wherever possible. **It’s a very good word, I’m enjoying it.