Ever since Sally Parsloe crawled underneath the toilet door to watch me having a tinkle in the boys’ toilet at school when I was four years old, I have suspected that there might be one or two subtle differences between girls and boys. I mean, why else would she want to watch me having a tinkle?
Well years have passed, much water has flowed under the bridge and many more clichés have come and gone. But I think I’m getting somewhere.
You see, sex education was non-existent at school and whilst for one brief period when I was the only boy at a girl’s school I learnt a couple of things (mainly that breasts were soft and comforting but that you got spanked if you tried to eat one) I was pretty much left in the dark. Sex education at home was even less evident. I didn’t even have a sister to peek at / sniff / finger or generally examine in order to satisfy my curiosity. But I think I’m getting somewhere.
Thankfully I am now getting a proper sex education and it is courtesy of those fine people at Marks and Spencer. You see, for a while now, I’ve been going to see my girls. They’re always there, in fact I think they look forward to my oh-too-regular visits. They always wear something different for me, sometimes it’s short, sometimes it’s see-through, but it always lets me know that they’re sluts and mine if I want them. They’re dirty girls, teasing me, luring me towards the show window, making me want to lick the window and wank in front of them.
Anyway, sorry, where was I? ……
Oh yes, my education. Well it’s now complete. I can now categorically proclaim that I finally know the difference between girls and boys and it’s something very simple …..
Boys, always leave their socks on!